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Literature by disrhythmic

Poetry by Lady-Luck03


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Submitted on
January 19, 2013
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I searched,

and searched,


and searched...


    i. I traced the trails
    of deserted comets
    and the path of every star,
    but always end up
    underneath Orion's tail-
    I started there

    because I knew

    you were an astronomer

    and you always dream big

    (not there).



      ii. I looked across
      the oceanic floor beds
      and dug deep within
      the cavities of every
      shell and shipwreck grave
      until the oxygen in
      my lungs expired
      sometimes sprinkling sea salt

      at the tip of my tongue

      to pretend it's sugar,

      because I missed you

      and your saccharine throat

      seasoning my Saturday mornings

      when cold coffee doesn't

      (not there,either).



        iii. I scavenged the limbs
        and rib cages and heart chambers
        of your past lovers,
        then moved on to your mother's-
        but found nothing
        other than ash and broken glass
        and withered jasmines,
        thinking you were dead,
        or died.
        Did you die for me

        or did you die because of me?

        I would never know.



      I haven't found you yet,


    and probably never will.
EDIT: Title has been changed from 'it's hard to find you(i haven't found you yet)' to 'I haven't found you yet'

for the :iconglory-be-project:

fun with html again! :D but I just made fun with (ol). :)

a one-shot luck, I guess. It's fresh from typing in the 'submit art' page because I wanted to submit something- and stop being lazy.

Dedicated to an uncle/grandfather who passed away a year ago and miss so badly! :( RIP, lolo</o>, and I hope you're happy wherever you are...:rose:

Even if it is for the glory-be-project, comments and constructive critism are more than welcome :iconbowplz:
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:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I really loved i, ii, and iii; but I'm not so keen on the initial formatting for the "I searched" section -- I can see what you're trying to achieve with it, and I like that aspect, but I find it to be a flow-interruption rather than an enhancement because of the huge gaps between the lines.

Once again, though, as always, your imagery is both touching and beautiful. "sometimes sprinkling sea salt / at the tip of my tongue / to pretend it's sugar," got right under my skin in a wonderful way.
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:iconbrokengod--veins:
brokengod--veins Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I actually have the same problem with the "I searched" part too, so I decided to drop the html altogether and just present it in a straight line (is it fine though?).

(a YEAR LATE I AM SO SO SORRY).
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:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013
Hi! I've used the title of your piece in a found poem. :heart:

[link]
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:iconbrokengod--veins:
brokengod--veins Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
oh my...what an honor! :love:
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:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013
:heart:
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:iconmonstroooo:
monstroooo Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Really like this one - nice work! :)
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:iconbrokengod--veins:
brokengod--veins Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thanks so much :)
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:iconlady-luck03:
Lady-Luck03 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Professional Writer
Wonderful use of imagery and ambiguity. There was a great balance between the two and I loved it. Great job and thank you for the wonderful read!
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:iconbrokengod--veins:
brokengod--veins Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanksso much for the thoughtful comment! :huggle:
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:iconlady-luck03:
Lady-Luck03 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013  Professional Writer
You're Welcome!
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