Shop More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconbrokengod--veins: More from brokengod--veins


Featured in Collections

Literature by disrhythmic

Poetry by Lady-Luck03


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
January 19, 2013
File Size
1.4 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
166
Favourites
11 (who?)
Comments
16
×
    I searched,
        and searched,




    and searched...


    i. I traced the trails of deserted comets and the path of every star, but always end up underneath Orion's tail- I started there
    because I knew
    you were an astronomer
    and you always dream big
    (not there).


      ii. I looked across the oceanic floor beds and dug deep within the cavities of every shell and shipwreck grave until the oxygen in my lungs expired sometimes sprinkling sea salt
      at the tip of my tongue
      to pretend it's sugar,
      because I missed you
      and your saccharine throat
      seasoning my Saturday mornings
      when cold coffee doesn't
      (not there,either).


        iii. I scavenged the limbs and rib cages and heart chambers of your past lovers, then moved on to your mother's- but found nothing other than ash and broken glass and withered jasmines, thinking you were dead, or died. Did you die for me
        or did you die because of me?
        I would never know.


      I haven't found you yet,

    and probably never will.
EDIT: Title has been changed from 'it's hard to find you(i haven't found you yet)' to 'I haven't found you yet'

for the :iconglory-be-project:

fun with html again! :D but I just made fun with (ol). :)

a one-shot luck, I guess. It's fresh from typing in the 'submit art' page because I wanted to submit something- and stop being lazy.

Dedicated to an uncle/grandfather who passed away a year ago and miss so badly! :( RIP, lolo</o>, and I hope you're happy wherever you are...:rose:

Even if it is for the glory-be-project, comments and constructive critism are more than welcome :iconbowplz:
Add a Comment:
 
:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I really loved i, ii, and iii; but I'm not so keen on the initial formatting for the "I searched" section -- I can see what you're trying to achieve with it, and I like that aspect, but I find it to be a flow-interruption rather than an enhancement because of the huge gaps between the lines.

Once again, though, as always, your imagery is both touching and beautiful. "sometimes sprinkling sea salt / at the tip of my tongue / to pretend it's sugar," got right under my skin in a wonderful way.
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013
Hi! I've used the title of your piece in a found poem. :heart:

[link]
Reply
:iconbrokengod--veins:
brokengod--veins Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
oh my...what an honor! :love:
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013
:heart:
Reply
:iconmonstroooo:
monstroooo Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Really like this one - nice work! :)
Reply
:iconbrokengod--veins:
brokengod--veins Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thanks so much :)
Reply
:iconlady-luck03:
Lady-Luck03 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Professional Writer
Wonderful use of imagery and ambiguity. There was a great balance between the two and I loved it. Great job and thank you for the wonderful read!
Reply
:iconbrokengod--veins:
brokengod--veins Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanksso much for the thoughtful comment! :huggle:
Reply
:iconlady-luck03:
Lady-Luck03 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013  Professional Writer
You're Welcome!
Reply
:icondragonschest:
DragonsChest Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Professional Writer
Wonderful poem...
Reply
Add a Comment: